The profession of medicine could not operate without nurses. It's not a secret to anyone who has ever been to a doctor's appointment or had a hospital stay that the nurses define our experience and even recovery process perhaps more than any other medical professional we encounter. We may be having a routine procedure, setting up a regular appointment, or having a serious conversation with the doctor; but the presence of a nurse may shape how well the patient deals with the situation and psychologically handles the outcome.
For most of us with a chronic illness, it is not a challenge to remember a nurse who hardly acknowledged our presence, one who kept forgetting to bring our medication when we were in the hospital, or just the nurse who overly enjoys her role as the gatekeeper to the doctor.
That said, chronically ill patients have a long list of encounters with nursing staff over the years, so we also have the advantage of being able to warm-heartedly recollect the nurses who made undeniable improvements in our healthcare. Perhaps she was an advocate on our behalf when no one else would listen. She may have looked the other way when visiting hours at the hospital were over. Or maybe she just held your hand while you had a painful (and lonely) medical procedure.
When I was recently checked into the hospital, the nurse had to push me outside from the wound care center around the hospital's construction zone walkway. Ironically, we both had rheumatoid arthritis and I made a new friend by our simple ten-minute conversation. Despite my infection, I felt much more comfortable by the time I got to the hospital.
As the editor of HopeKeepers Magazine, I have tried to get a nurse to write an article explaining what a typical day is like at a doctor's office where she is employed. I know many minutes are filled with frantic scheduling issues, checking patients in, trying to please the physicians, all while doing more that can be expected in the time allotted.
I haven't found a nurse yet who was even willing to be interviewed for an article; more than a few have said, "If my article was discovered I could lose my job!"
With chronically ill patients and nurses continuing to improve their understanding of one anothers and each others needs however, there is only room for improvement in this long-standing relationship. Sadly, sometimes the nurse/patient relationship lasts longer than some marriages.
Here are 12 ways to better understand the chronically ill patient.
[1] When you ask if I am taking any medications and I pull out two pieces of paper with everything listed, please don't look flabbergasted or as if I am a drug addict.
[2] When you take a moment to ask me about how I am doing emotionally, not just physically, I feel like you really do care. In some ways this makes me more comfortable and even forthcoming about the physical symptoms when the doctor asks me questions later.
[3] I appreciate the fact that you celebrate the little things with me when I come in for an appointment. You are one of the few people who know how hard it is to try to reach a goal weight or wean off of a medication. I realize you see patients like me every day and hear their stories, so your enthusiasm about my successes are even more special and the highlight of my day.
[4] Logically, I know you don't know every medication on the market, but when you have to ask me how to spell the medication that is advertised in every womens magazine, I wonder how often you get out of the office.
[5] By simply telling me, "I don't know how you cope so well. I really admire your attitude and how you deal with this dease," I can float around for days.
[6] I appreciate it when you ask, "Would it be okay if I pray for you?" Some people may say no, but for many it will be the first time some cared enough to even ask.
[7] There are times when I am have been having a medical procedure and my family is not able to be there. I know it's a minor procedure for you, but the fact that you understand it's a major procedure to me, and you stick around and hold my hand, is one of the nicest things anyone ever does for me.
[8] When I'm in the hospital it's hard to give over the disbursement of all of my medications to you. I'm what some call a "professional patient" and used to taking care of myself; monitoring my pain level and knowing when and how much medication to take. When you go the extra mile and help me get medications on time, I really appreciate it. The time of day I take it can make a huge difference in my pain level for the day.
[9] If you are having a bad day, just tell me, "Today has been a little hectic." I know you are human and have rough days, but when you are grumpy I tend to think I've done something to upset you and have been known to take it personally.
[10] I know sometimes when you are trying to get me in for an appointment my schedule can be difficult. I'm not trying to be complicated. Although a great deal of my time is filled with doctor's appointments, therapies, lab tests, etc. I'm also trying to work around my family's schedule to have as normal of life as possible.
[11] I appreciate it when you are able to call in prescriptions so they are ready at the pharmacy when I get there. I know it's an extra step for you, but it helps me tremendously.
[12] When I am in the hospital your willingness to help with a shower, change the sheets, or just have a conversation to distract me from where I am, makes all the difference in my stay. I appreciate the fact that you treat me like a real person, and not just a project.
Living with a chronic illness is difficult. Choosing the career path of nursing is not easy either. When each remembers to pass along simple encouragement in the words of "thank you" or "I admire your strength," both the patient and the nurse can have a beneficial, and sometimes even a blessed, relationship.
For most of us with a chronic illness, it is not a challenge to remember a nurse who hardly acknowledged our presence, one who kept forgetting to bring our medication when we were in the hospital, or just the nurse who overly enjoys her role as the gatekeeper to the doctor.
That said, chronically ill patients have a long list of encounters with nursing staff over the years, so we also have the advantage of being able to warm-heartedly recollect the nurses who made undeniable improvements in our healthcare. Perhaps she was an advocate on our behalf when no one else would listen. She may have looked the other way when visiting hours at the hospital were over. Or maybe she just held your hand while you had a painful (and lonely) medical procedure.
When I was recently checked into the hospital, the nurse had to push me outside from the wound care center around the hospital's construction zone walkway. Ironically, we both had rheumatoid arthritis and I made a new friend by our simple ten-minute conversation. Despite my infection, I felt much more comfortable by the time I got to the hospital.
As the editor of HopeKeepers Magazine, I have tried to get a nurse to write an article explaining what a typical day is like at a doctor's office where she is employed. I know many minutes are filled with frantic scheduling issues, checking patients in, trying to please the physicians, all while doing more that can be expected in the time allotted.
I haven't found a nurse yet who was even willing to be interviewed for an article; more than a few have said, "If my article was discovered I could lose my job!"
With chronically ill patients and nurses continuing to improve their understanding of one anothers and each others needs however, there is only room for improvement in this long-standing relationship. Sadly, sometimes the nurse/patient relationship lasts longer than some marriages.
Here are 12 ways to better understand the chronically ill patient.
[1] When you ask if I am taking any medications and I pull out two pieces of paper with everything listed, please don't look flabbergasted or as if I am a drug addict.
[2] When you take a moment to ask me about how I am doing emotionally, not just physically, I feel like you really do care. In some ways this makes me more comfortable and even forthcoming about the physical symptoms when the doctor asks me questions later.
[3] I appreciate the fact that you celebrate the little things with me when I come in for an appointment. You are one of the few people who know how hard it is to try to reach a goal weight or wean off of a medication. I realize you see patients like me every day and hear their stories, so your enthusiasm about my successes are even more special and the highlight of my day.
[4] Logically, I know you don't know every medication on the market, but when you have to ask me how to spell the medication that is advertised in every womens magazine, I wonder how often you get out of the office.
[5] By simply telling me, "I don't know how you cope so well. I really admire your attitude and how you deal with this dease," I can float around for days.
[6] I appreciate it when you ask, "Would it be okay if I pray for you?" Some people may say no, but for many it will be the first time some cared enough to even ask.
[7] There are times when I am have been having a medical procedure and my family is not able to be there. I know it's a minor procedure for you, but the fact that you understand it's a major procedure to me, and you stick around and hold my hand, is one of the nicest things anyone ever does for me.
[8] When I'm in the hospital it's hard to give over the disbursement of all of my medications to you. I'm what some call a "professional patient" and used to taking care of myself; monitoring my pain level and knowing when and how much medication to take. When you go the extra mile and help me get medications on time, I really appreciate it. The time of day I take it can make a huge difference in my pain level for the day.
[9] If you are having a bad day, just tell me, "Today has been a little hectic." I know you are human and have rough days, but when you are grumpy I tend to think I've done something to upset you and have been known to take it personally.
[10] I know sometimes when you are trying to get me in for an appointment my schedule can be difficult. I'm not trying to be complicated. Although a great deal of my time is filled with doctor's appointments, therapies, lab tests, etc. I'm also trying to work around my family's schedule to have as normal of life as possible.
[11] I appreciate it when you are able to call in prescriptions so they are ready at the pharmacy when I get there. I know it's an extra step for you, but it helps me tremendously.
[12] When I am in the hospital your willingness to help with a shower, change the sheets, or just have a conversation to distract me from where I am, makes all the difference in my stay. I appreciate the fact that you treat me like a real person, and not just a project.
Living with a chronic illness is difficult. Choosing the career path of nursing is not easy either. When each remembers to pass along simple encouragement in the words of "thank you" or "I admire your strength," both the patient and the nurse can have a beneficial, and sometimes even a blessed, relationship.
About the Author:
Lisa Copen is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week held annually in Sept and featuring a 5-day virtual conference w/ 20 seminars w/ 20 speakers. Follow II Week on Twitter for prizes and info. Blog about invisible illness on your site, be a featured guest blogger, meet others, read articles and lots more. Make a difference!
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